One of the unfortunate parts of depression is not knowing when it's going to hit. It can sneak up on you and let the wind out of your sails before you're even aware it's happening. No amount of reason can chase it away, logic does nothing to fight it. At the same time, the depression sets in almost like a blanket, creating something both sad and comforting. It can cause you to crawl inside your shell and hide from the world for a while, but at the same time, calm the anxiety that exists below the surface. Like the mental equivalent of a cigarette. Or at least, what I imagine the effect of a cigarette is. It'll drift away as stealthily as it arrived, leaving things mostly the way they were. It's easier to wax poetic than to fight it. Rising like a phoenix back out of the embers when it has had time to pass.
This too shall pass. I find comfort in those words. It's enough.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
Workout Journal (1)
(I'm experimenting with keeping a journal of my effort to get back into shape. If this helps I may do it more, if not, it'll disappear)
Today was day five of my foray into the P90X workout. I've tried twice before but both attempts floundered after a couple days. Sadly, this is the farthest I've made it into the 90 day intensive workout. Obviously it's too early to be seeing weight change or any substantial muscle gain, but I already have an increased stamina and increased energy just from the five days I've done so far. The Ab Ripper is done 3 times a week (mon, wed, fri) and today I was able to do more than either mon or wed. Also I'm not as winded after warmups and moving into the workout proper.
A couple times now my adrenaline has kicked in and I've almost felt like I did back in high school (I was super fit, played baseball for nine years, worked out 5 days a week, had 6-pack (I know, where'd it go, right?)).
One big change this time around is my motivation to actually work out. Being unemployed (happily at the moment) has its advantages, one of which being the open schedule that really allows me to spend quality time on an assortment of activities.
This added ability to focus has me actually looking forward to my daily workout.
The next big step is the nutrition part. I'm working on putting this in motion, but it can get pretty expensive buying all sorts of different meats, ingredients, vegetables, etc. Also, I've (sadly) eaten like a middle schooler whose parents are out of town for the last few years now.
Changes!
I'm now getting to where I'll be counting reps during the workouts and weighing in every week to start measuring results. I don't expect weight loss too quickly, but I'll be honest, I can't wait to see the first marked drop.
Anyhoo, stay tuned for what will hopefully be a great life change.
Today was day five of my foray into the P90X workout. I've tried twice before but both attempts floundered after a couple days. Sadly, this is the farthest I've made it into the 90 day intensive workout. Obviously it's too early to be seeing weight change or any substantial muscle gain, but I already have an increased stamina and increased energy just from the five days I've done so far. The Ab Ripper is done 3 times a week (mon, wed, fri) and today I was able to do more than either mon or wed. Also I'm not as winded after warmups and moving into the workout proper.
A couple times now my adrenaline has kicked in and I've almost felt like I did back in high school (I was super fit, played baseball for nine years, worked out 5 days a week, had 6-pack (I know, where'd it go, right?)).
One big change this time around is my motivation to actually work out. Being unemployed (happily at the moment) has its advantages, one of which being the open schedule that really allows me to spend quality time on an assortment of activities.
This added ability to focus has me actually looking forward to my daily workout.
The next big step is the nutrition part. I'm working on putting this in motion, but it can get pretty expensive buying all sorts of different meats, ingredients, vegetables, etc. Also, I've (sadly) eaten like a middle schooler whose parents are out of town for the last few years now.
Changes!
I'm now getting to where I'll be counting reps during the workouts and weighing in every week to start measuring results. I don't expect weight loss too quickly, but I'll be honest, I can't wait to see the first marked drop.
Anyhoo, stay tuned for what will hopefully be a great life change.
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